47 Republican Senators to Sponsor Fraternity Party Bus

President Obama has reached a deal with the 47 Republican senators who signed the treasonous letter sent to Iranian authorities. The 47 senators have agreed to denounce the letter and resign their Senate seats. In return, the Obama administration will fund monthly party buses for the 47 senators. Exiled members of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity at the University of Oklahoma will be invited to the parties.

The parties will be private and the N-word can be yelled loudly as long as the party attendees 1) restrict the chants to the bus, 2) promise to stay away from Washington and 3) never run for office again.
“The N-Word parties are worth it,” the President says. “They will free Washington from the negative energy that is stalling progress on so many issues, from immigration to the negotiations with Iran.”

The bus will include a curtain cordoning off the back two rows. This will provide a space for Senator Tim Scott, the lone African American on the bus to retreat if he chooses not to participant in the N-Word chants.

The most controversial measure was the proposed sketch of President Obama hanging from a tree. Limited editions of these Wet American Dream pictures will be allowed as long as the images do not leave the bus. The government will fund the purchase of towels for the male senators and SAE members as it is expected that there will be excessive masturbation when they are viewing the pictures. The female senators will be required to retreat to the back of the bus during the masturbation periods. However, they will be allowed to peek through the curtain.

The senators and SAE extended invitations to Kanye West, Jay Z and Snoop Dogg to join them on the bus occasionally and perform raps that include the N-word. The Senators are stunned that they have not received any responses from the rappers. They were hoping the rappers could join them on a ride through Selma over Edmund Pettus Bridge. ”I am horrified by such arrogant uppity behavior,” said one of the senators. “How dare they not jump at the chance to yell the N-word with us? I am outraged. People called our letter inappropriate. What’s inappropriate is the lack of response of the rappers who are usually eager to yell anything.”

Nevertheless, the bus will take off, Washington will function more effectively and we’ll all live happily ever after!

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About Author: David J Dent

David J. Dent is an Associate Professor at New York University where he holds a joint appointment at the Arthur Carter Journalism Institute and in the Department of Social and Cultural Analysis. He created the course “Deconstructing Obama” and teaches courses in journalism and non-fiction writing. He is the author of In Search of Black America which was a New York Times Notable Book of 2000. He has written for The New York Times Magazine, Book Review and Education Life supplements, Playboy, GQ, Salon, The Washington Post and many other publications. He and his wife Valerie are Co-Founders of Write for the Future, an organization that focuses on ways college admissions essays can help students become better writers.

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